Thursday, 22 August 2013
Cross country by Joshua R
The almost vertical hill lay before me. My feet smashed the ground like I'd just fallen of a cliff. I was going at the speed of my dad late for work. My body was filled with up with exhaustion for I felt like I was going to fall face first on the hard concrete. My only fuel was my supporters and my determination to come sixth place. I felt like I was turning into jelly. My mouth felt like a dentist was sucking all the water out of my mouth. My heart was a hammer inside my chest. Someone was screaming at the top of their lungs at me until I resized it was just my ears. The gully came to a sharp corner as I turned I heard the crowd roar.
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Wow Josh. I really get a sense of how determined you were when you were running cross country! I love the line about 'going at the speed of my dad late for work'! You also end it in a really clever way with leaving the reader with that sense of anticipation of hearing the crowd roar.
ReplyDeleteMrs H